Downsizing

For those of you who aren’t regular readers (either here or on my Facebook page), I’ve been self-employed and working from home, for most of the last 10 years. While I’ve absolutely loved almost everything about this arrangement, I suddenly lost my largest client in November, decimating my business and making short work of our family’s finances. Since my wife, Anna’s, parents and several siblings all live in the Lafayette, Indiana, area, we’ve usually lived there or, when work took us elsewhere, at least within an hour’s drive, give or take 15 minutes. It’s all my children know; it’s about all that Anna knows! But now, out of sheer desperation, we’ve had to widen our net. The result: last month, I accepted a job in Birmingham, Alabama, over 500 miles away. We’ll be moving there in about five weeks.

This past weekend, our family made the 1,000-plus–mile round trip to go house hunting. While there are certainly a lot of positives about the position and the area, one of the major downsides is financial. Despite what every cost-of-living calculator assures me, the cost of living is way higher in the Birmingham area than it is, in Lafayette. Bottom line: we were extremely blessed to find a house to rent for only 20% more than our current mortgage, but it’s less than half the size of our home in Lafayette. While we knew this going into it, it still left me feeling a failure as a husband and father: not only am I uprooting my entire family because I can’t support us here, but I’m forcing them to live in a relatively tiny home—even smaller than the one we moved out of, seven years ago, because it was too small for our family of four (one fewer child than we have now).

What’s weird is that despite all this, I’m completely at peace with this decision, and it’s all thanks to an answer to prayer. About 4:00 yesterday morning, I was tossing and turning in the hotel bed, wondering just what the heck we’re doing and how we’re going to make it work. As I lay there, I prayed for guidance in my decision, especially how to proceed. I’ve prayed for this many times, in the past few months, but yesterday it was suddenly clear. For years, I’ve been praying for the ability to overcome my greatest failing, pride. While this seems obvious in hindsight, I realize that my large home—including the 2½-car garage, over 4,000 square feet—hasn’t done me any favors in this area. My children have also been growing up with a severe sense of entitlement, which this house is also not helping. Despite the apparent difficulty, I’m finally receiving an answer to my prayers: a very modest home that will both force us to simplify (which we’ve needed for a long time) and compel me to be humble.

The Prophet Alma, son of Alma, taught the poor Zoramites:

“I say unto you, it is well that… ye may be humble, and that ye may learn wisdom; for it is necessary that ye should learn wisdom; for it is because that ye are cast out, that ye are despised of your brethren because of your exceeding poverty, that ye are brought to a lowliness of heart; for ye are necessarily brought to be humble. And now, because ye are compelled to be humble blessed are ye; for a man sometimes, if he is compelled to be humble, seeketh repentance; and now surely, whosoever repenteth shall find mercy; and he that findeth mercy and endureth to the end the same shall be saved.” (Alma 32:12-13)

Similarly, the Prophet Brigham Young, Sr., stated:

“The worst fear that I have about this people is that they will get rich…, forget God and his people, wax fat, and kick themselves out of the Church and go to hell. This people will stand mobbing, robbing, poverty and all manner of persecution, and be true. My greater fear for them is that they cannot stand wealth; and yet they have to be tried with riches, for they will become the richest people on this earth.” (Preston Nibley, Brigham Young, the Man and His Work, 128)

I know we’re not going to be in extreme poverty; my income should keep us fed and clothed and with a roof over our heads. The house we’re renting is only five minutes from the temple, which will be absolutely amazing. But after 39 years of living in particular comfort, I’m finally going to be in a situation where I have to work hard and economize, and you know what? I love that.

Here’s the Google Maps shot of our new home, taken in December 2013: