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Showing posts with the label humor

The World’s Worst Ethnic Joke

I just received an email from my mother with the subject line “Fwd: World’s worth ethnic joke pun.” Apparently they’re hoping to mock people with a lithp as well. Anyway, it bears repeating: An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Frenchman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner, a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a N...

Winter Cleaning

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Anna and I have a bit of a running gag between us: our “Spring cleaning” never seems to take place in Spring. It’s not that we have anything against cleaning in Spring, mind you; we just do a “deep clean” whenever we feel like it, and for some reason, it never seems to happen to be Spring, when that happens. So as per usual, a little backstory: back when I was a lad in Gimmelshtump (or something like that), Anna and I were getting ready for our pre-adoption home visit and realized that our master bedroom was, to be frank, atrocious. We have a lot of stuff and are finally learning to part with some of it (most notably those things we haven’t seen nor thought about in years), even if it came to us via some sentimental method ( e.g. a gift from some random family member we haven’t seen since 1982 who probably died in 1982½, but how would we know?). But back in Gimmelshtump, we decided we needed to get our room clean fast , so I headed over to Walmart (of course they have Walmart in...

Coincidence

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Douglas Adams wrote: If one coincidence can occur… then another coincidence can occur. And if one coincidence happens to occur just after another coincidence, then that is just a coincidence. ( The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul , 172). As if to prove his point, I just randomly flipped through the pages of the just-quoted book, hoping to find the right page so that I could properly cite it. My random flip stopped on page 172 exactly, where my eyes immediately fell upon the word “coincidence” about two thirds down the page. Is this too a coincidence? Regardless, the reason I got to thinking about this is because about ten minutes ago, as I was reading Berke Breathed’s Bloom County Babylon , I came across this panel in a comic from 1985: Given current events, I must ask again: is this just another coincidence? I can only assume so, since it was probably also just a coincidence that some guy tried to sell Dave a screenplay about a late-night talk-show host that was sleeping ar...