The Empty Soda Can

Back when I was a kid, growing up in New Jersey, there were only two radio stations on any of our radar: Z-100 (WHTZ / 100.3 FM) and Power 95 (WPLJ / 95.5 FM). Between the two, Z-100 was by far the better station (IMHO). Part of that was the fact that they gave away something in the realm of $50,000/week in prizes, including some $30,000 in cash. But the other part of it was their morning show, the original Z Morning Zoo. I understand the Zoo is still running, but it lost something with the departure of its lead deejay, Scott Shannon, who the network transferred to California to start up Pirate Radio (also at 100.3 FM). Sadly, Scott didn’t gel with the west-cost crowd and, after only a year or two, was back in New York. Happily for him, when Z-100 wouldn’t give him his old job back, he went to Power 95, made their morning show #1, and has been doing it, ever since. But I digress. The point of this post is not to give a history of New York City–area pop/rock radio. The point is...

This morning, I got a call that Caller ID brought up as “MCGRAW HILL COM.” The woman was barely intelligible, but began a conversation that went something like this: “Hello, may I speak to [unintelligible] Drake?” “Yes, this is Mr. Drake.” “Hello?” “Yes.” “Is this Mr. Drake?” “Yes, this is Mr. Drake.” “Oh, okay. Hello, Mr. Drake. I am calling to talk to your about your computer, yes?” “Okay.” “Yes, well, I am calling to talk to you about your computer, because as you know, there are lots of threats on the Internet, yes?” “Mm-hmm.” “So what I want is to help you with your computer, yes?” “Okay.” “So now the first thing you are going to need to do is go to your computer, yes?” “Sure. I’m there.” “You are at your computer?” “Yes.” “Okay, Mr. Drake, and now I need you to turn your computer on.” “It’s on.” “It’s on?” “Yes, it’s on.” “Okay. Now, what I need you to do is look at your keyboard.” “Okay?” “Yes, now I need you to look at your keyboar...