Monday, February 8, 2010

Winter Cleaning

Anna and I have a bit of a running gag between us: our “Spring cleaning” never seems to take place in Spring. It’s not that we have anything against cleaning in Spring, mind you; we just do a “deep clean” whenever we feel like it, and for some reason, it never seems to happen to be Spring, when that happens.

So as per usual, a little backstory: back when I was a lad in Gimmelshtump (or something like that), Anna and I were getting ready for our pre-adoption home visit and realized that our master bedroom was, to be frank, atrocious. We have a lot of stuff and are finally learning to part with some of it (most notably those things we haven’t seen nor thought about in years), even if it came to us via some sentimental method (e.g. a gift from some random family member we haven’t seen since 1982 who probably died in 1982½, but how would we know?). But back in Gimmelshtump, we decided we needed to get our room clean fast, so I headed over to Walmart (of course they have Walmart in Gimmelshtump!) and purchased some number of Sterilite® bins that we could just toss everything into. A lot of them found their way into other rooms (including two that are still full, in my office), but the main group consisted of four 55-gallon bins that we stacked up in the corner of our room, plus one 45-gallon bin alongside our drawing table. Each was filled to the brim with somewhat random stuff.

Anna with the Mess
So Saturday morning, with no other urgent projects on our plate, we decided to finally get started on the Great Purge. One by one, I brought the four bins downstairs. The first one, as it turned out, was actually quite well done: it was completely filled with wrapping paper, gift bags, etc., and thus needed no reorganization. The other three, however, were nothing short of ridiculous. The sheer amount of long-since unnecessary documents that made their way into the recycling bin or the shredder was amazing enough, but the number of other, random items tossed in there was truly a sight to behold. At right, you’ll see a shot from the thick of it. (Keep in mind that this is after we had recycled large quantities of items.)

Of course, you know I wouldn’t be posting here if there weren’t some wonderful kicker to this entire tale—something so truly Jeffanna, I couldn’t help but mention it. So here we go: in the middle of the very last bin, Anna found a manila envelope (seen above), tossed in randomly with everything else. And what, pray tell, was it labelled?

You can’t make this stuff up.