The Empty Soda Can

a $17,540 coat that probably won’t keep you as warm as a decent $50 one So this morning, it’s like nine degrees outside. For those of you who use the metric system, that translates to like -56 centisomethings. For those of you who don’t care, that translates to “It’s cold.” This got me thinking about the heavy, winter coat I put on so I could take out the trash without turning into a Drakesicle. You’ll notice I didn’t say it’s a “warm” coat. It’s not. I’m guessing yours isn’t, either. If you stuck a meat thermometer in your “warm” coat right now, it would probably register something like the exact same temperature as the inside of your house, unless you’re outside, in which case it would probably be considerably colder (unless you’re in the southern hemisphere, in which case shut up). But chances are pretty good your coat is not warm. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m sure somewhere out there, there’s a coat that’s actually warm. When I was in high school, I had these thi...

I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since I posted to my blog. I guess I’ve just been so busy on Facebook that I haven’t bothered to post anything here. What strikes me as tremendously unfortunate is that I’m compelled to post on roughly the same topic as my last post, and for very much the same reason. Hopefully I can find something else that warrants a long enough post to be worth this blog’s while. In the meantime, I hope you’ll enjoy this entry. As many people probably know, the county clerk in Rowan County, Kentucky, Kim Davis , was recently jailed for having the audacity to uphold the Constitutions of both the United States of America and the Commonwealth of Kentucky, as per her oath of office. Of course, since people defending the Constitution cannot be tolerated in 21st-century Amerikkka, millions of people are supporting her illegal incarceration at the hands of a rogue district judge and a Supreme Court that recently ruled the Constitution null and void. One of t...

Anna and I have been re-watching The X-Files from the beginning, in preparation for the new “season” (yes, it’s only six episodes, but it’s still a season). In so doing, I’ve noticed a phenomenon that she and I have discussed before, but is still fascinating: our age in comparison to the ages of those we see on television. For the casual reader, I must explain that I am 40 years old, and that’s really quite okay with me. Forty is a good age: I’ve been around long enough to have a bit of wisdom under my belt; I’m far enough into my career that I can provide a reasonable living for my family; yet I’m still young enough that my body isn’t completely falling apart, an issue I’m sure I’ll have to deal with in the next decade or two. In short, forty is nice. It’s a shame I can’t stay here for a while. What’s weird is that, when I watch TV shows, the people on them—who are almost always quite a bit younger than forty—still seem to be older than I. Perhaps it’s because the shows we watch t...

Yesterday I came across this picture and posted it to Facebook: Shortly thereafter, my friend Tim posted the following comment: “Can you explain this quote to me? How is it Bullying to fight for the right for gay people to marry. Why should they not be allowed to express their love and devotion to each in the same manner that you and I can?” As is my custom, I’m taking a response that turned out to be rather long, and posting it to my blog for ease of reading. Tim, the rest of this is for you. :-) First of all, I’d like to point out that that’s actually a great question. The problem is that it’s unfortunately based on a false premise. If I may, I’d like to deal with that part—the false premise—first. Gay people have always had the right to marry. If an man and a woman walk into a courthouse and ask for a marriage license, their sexual orientation is never an issue. They can be straight, gay, bi, pan, or whatever other term they might choose to identify as—or any combin...

Just a cross-post to my other blog: Relocation

For those of you who aren’t regular readers (either here or on my Facebook page ), I’ve been self-employed and working from home, for most of the last 10 years. While I’ve absolutely loved almost everything about this arrangement, I suddenly lost my largest client in November, decimating my business and making short work of our family’s finances. Since my wife,  Anna ’s, parents and several siblings all live in the  Lafayette, Indiana , area, we’ve usually lived there or, when work took us elsewhere, at least within an hour’s drive, give or take 15 minutes. It’s all my children know; it’s about all that Anna knows! But now, out of sheer desperation, we’ve had to widen our net. The result: last month, I accepted a job in Birmingham, Alabama , over 500 miles away. We’ll be moving there in about five weeks. This past weekend, our family made the 1,000-plus–mile round trip to go house hunting. While there are certainly a lot of positives about the position and the area, on...

From 2002-2003, I was the marketing director for S&S Fire Apparatus Co., a small business in northern Indiana that built—surprisingly enough—fire apparatus ( i.e. fire trucks and similar anti-incendiary devices). It was my first job out of college and the pay was less than I would have liked (like whose isn’t?), but I loved the company and I loved the work I did for them. Near the end of my first year there, the decision was made to cut costs by merging our three successful tanker lines into one. We began the project as these things usually begin: with a meeting. After a couple of hours, there were still very few good ideas on what to call the new product family, which encompassed the old Infinity II ® , Infinity+3, and FC Series. Finally, I piped up and asked, “How about Infinity III?” Amazingly, everyone liked that suggestion and the Infinity III line was born. That’s where things started getting interesting. My next task was to create a marketing campaign for the Infinity II...